Stunning artwork

There are some interesting pages on the web about the worst kind of artwork people had ever received. Here are some of the contributions: A ‘logo’ apparently drawn by a six-year-old in colored pencil on yellow lined legal paper. The client was quite insistent about getting their ‘original artwork’ back.


A drawing of several machine screws showing thread variations, but done free hand with a felt tip marker on an oddly trapezoidily cut piece of coated card stock (which when you flipped it over turned out to be a FedEx “letter” envelope). This was supposed to be a technical drawing for which a fee of $200 was paid.


A life-size cardboard cutout of Bjorn Borg holding a running shoe. (Dave)


Not wanting to go off-topic here… but has anyone else ever had a client choose a paper stock and helpfully fax you a sample?


A jar of spaghetti sauce. According to sales, we were to roll it across the scanning bed as the wand went by. Ended up shooting a photo of it for the logo and rebuilding the rest.


Four-color seps for a tabloid, submitted as paper positives–printed on a letter-size laser printer and spliced together with tape.


We have a client who regularly sends us building plans that are drawn in Excel. He makes all the cells square and then changes the borders of the cells to look like walls. Then he colors the cells to represent the contents of each room.


From this hilarious thread on typos on the b4print forums:

  • We got another car dealer ad a few weeks ago with a map on it which included ‘Burn Lake’ on it…only they typed it ‘Bum Lake’. Coincidentally, it’s a homeless hot spot so we really debated over just letting it print that way but my boss ended up fixing it.
  • Nobody beats our local paper for typos: “SHIT SUE for sale”… I think they meant a breed of dog.
  • My mom saved a Kmart ad from I don’t know when that had ‘flannel shits’ on sale.

A little rhyme to close this page: Last night as I lay sleeping I died or so it seemed. Then I went to heaven, but only in my dream. Up there St. Peter met me standing at the pearly gate. He said “I must check your record. Please stand here and wait”. “I see that you drank alcohol and smoked a smoke or two. Fact is, you’ve done everything a good person should never do. We can’t have folks like you up here! Your life was full of sin.” Then he read the last of my record. He took my hand and said “Come in”. He led me up to the big boss and said “Take him in and treat him well. He used to work in Printing. He’s already done his time in hell.”

15 January 2017

One response to “Stunning artwork”

  1. Tim Monk says:

    The prepressure site is one that I often find myself visiting. I enjoy the satire, but I’ve also found myself visiting your error messages page, if for no other reason, validation. Thanx for your work. Keep it up, and UPDATE IT! 😉

    Tim


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